curse you walt!

elizabeth just came in sobbing...

me: honey, what's wrong?

e: simba's dad just died.

me: who? who died?

e: you know...simba's dad moufassa. all the animals ran him over and he died?

me: (kind of irritated at this point because i've told her in the past that she shouldn't watch the lion king if it makes her sad) baby it's just a movie, and a cartoon at that so it's just cartoon acting...he didn't really die. and do you know what the moral of this story is?

e: what (in a very pouty you're-not-gonna-snap-me-out-of-it tone)?

me: you shouldn't play where the antelope roam...or where there's a chance of a stampede.

e: mom - i don't think those were antelope (hands on hips at this point, but no more crying).

me: well then miss smarty-pants, what were they?

e: wildebeests.

me: oh, well same moral: you shouldn't play where the wildebeests roam or stampede or in any other herd for that matter.

e: why not?

me: cuz if there's a stampede you'll get smooshed. herds can be scary for just that reason. well...almost all herds because i wouldn't be afraid of like a herd of bunnies or chickens. although that's not really a herd, that's a flock i believe.

e: you're weird (says the girl who cries every time she watches the lion king)

she walked out of the room at this point. i am not weird - that made complete and perfectly good sense. and anyways my ramblings made her forget about the death of moufassa, so take that!

random as random comments get...

"i can't find my dog's collar, but i'm pretty sure it's under the bed cuz i believe i saw it when i was having sex. it must have been a girl i was having sex with cuz the only reason i'd go under the bed is to get the strap-on."

~shall remain anonymous